George Michael was a guest in the American late-night CBS talk show “Late Show with David Letterman” on November 9, 1998, on the eve of his “Ladies and Gentlemen” greatest hits release. Below is the video and transcript of George’s interview with David Letterman.
David: Our first guest is a multiple Grammy Award nominee who has sold more than 60 million albums, who’s new double CD compilation is entitled “Ladies & Gentlemen: The Best of George Michael and it will be available in stores tomorrow. Here he is, George Michael.
[George walks on to cheers from the crowd]
David: Nice to have you on the show. This is your first time on the show, it’s not your first time on the show, is it?
George: Well excuse me, you should know shouldn’t you, yes it is. Is this your first time on the show.
David: Weren’t you on over at the old show at NBC singing and stuff? Did we have you on that?
George: No, no.
David: Well, welcome to the damn show!
George: Thank you! I don’t know what was going on someone was trying to throw a blonde wig on me back there and teach me all these foreign languages [Meryl Streep ref.]
David: That happens to you all the time doesn’t it. It was about a year ago you were arrested in California. What was that all about?
George: About a year ago?
David: Was it a year ago?
George: About 6 months ago.
David: 6 months ago…
George: Oh times flying.
David: Is all that been all straightened out now?
George: Um I still, I’ve just been um. I have community service to fulfill, but I did actually. I was expected to be given like a couple extra months to do it in, but apparently, it’s been a, I have got to do it by the end of December which is no problem.
David: What kind of community service will you be doing.
George: Umm well I already do quite a lot of work with a charity called Project Angel Food in Los Angeles who deliver meals to AIDS patients all over Los Angeles and the area. And I already have got connections with them, so I think I will do work there.
David: So you will continue doing that and it will work towards your…
George: No, no it’s not, I do actually have to do out, but I have no problem in doing it. I know the people and they will set me to work in the kitchen I imagine.
David: Right. So what exactly happened?
George: I just want to say before we get on to this topic that I have been told backstage that I can’t say the M word. So God knows if you aren’t allowed to say it no wonder I got arrested for doing it. I mean you know what time does this show go out? 11:30?
David: 11:30, It’s an adult show.
George: True, true. I guess people don’t get up to that kind of thing here uh.
David: So take us through it step by step. See what happens here.
George: Ok. Alright, so take you through it step by step.
David: Maybe I was misled, I was under the impression you didn’t mind talking about it…
George: No I have no problem talking about it.
David: If you would rather not talk about it, we can talk about something else.
George: No, I am just trying to work out…
David: I don’t want to embarrass you. I was under the impression that we could talk about it.
George: I am good an embarrassing myself, I am very good at that…
David: Alright then let’s go ahead and talk about it…
George: I just can’t work out how to say it without using the M word but I will find some other. Umm, so what happened? What happened was kind of vaguely slightly inebriated pop star on a lovely summers day. And I went in, I walked into the restroom I was followed in…
David: Where is the restroom? This is a public restroom?
George: Well it is a very classy restroom, it is directly opposite the Beverly Hills Hotel. And basically I was followed into the toilet by a man 6, well over 6 foot fairly attractive not Carmel, not Colombo; someone kind of slightly more attractive than that. And I was, I think the official word is entrapped, I suppose. I was coaxed fairly directly…
David: Really?
George: Yes. And basically, um, nothing happened I didn’t come within… [crowd reacts with laughter & applause]
David: Careful Hanson is here tonight. Please be careful.
George: Be honest! Be honest! Meryl Streep heard I was on the show right, and she pulled out…
David: No, I don’t know what happened. She is busy; she is a very busy woman.
George: Ok I will catch up with her sometime…
David: Now … Uh, you had gone in, your reason for going into the restroom I am guessing was innocent enough, it that correct…
George: Oh yeah absolutely…
David: You went into there for the purpose that 98% of the people would…
George: Oh yeah, I have said it before, I am no stranger to you know outdoor nookie…
David: What? What? … You can say nookie, but you can’t say the other word…
George: Well I didn’t think Americans understood nookie, I thought it was a bit like, “Do you say nookie?”
David: [laughter]
George: I didn’t think you did. I thought I am not allowed to say “masturbation” I have to say nookie something…
George: So I guess half of America just switched over yeah…
David: I think they are switching here, I think, word is spreading across the yards. So anyway. Now you are in there, and a guy a cop comes in and he, its a set up. It’s a setup.
George: A lot of people find this hard to imagine. I must admit I found it hard to believe at the time, but it is a very common practice. It’s called entrapment. It is illegal. Its basically being coaxed…
David: What did the guy do?
George: What did the guy do. That I am allowed to say…
David: That he turned out to be a police officer…
George: Alright this is the nicest way I can put it, I have put it this way before and I don’t want to be graphic and nasty. He played a game called “you show me yours”, no, “I show you mine and you show me yours, then I will take you down to the police station.”
David: Show me what, what are we looking at?
George: Well, he wasn’t showing me his fillings, you know what I mean…
David: This guy actually drops his pants there in front of you…
George: No he didn’t have to drop them. He had his … I am not allowed to say the word, am I? I am a bit stuck here. He had his — the important equipment…
David: Well I think that depends on your perspective there…
George: Ok alright, so imagine for a moment that you are straight…
David: Yeah I know what is going on he’s … imagine for a moment that I am what? You didn’t mean to say that, did you?
George: I have been dying to say that…
David: Oh for heaven sakes. Alright so the guy is standing there trying to engage in some sort of activity…
George: He said, he said … actually, the police report says that he was simulating urination. Right, now excuse me, how do you simulate urination and make no noise? Do you see what I am saying? If you tried to simulate urination, doing that with your hands you would get wee all over the shop, is all I can say… Don’t try it at home, don’t try it at home folks. Actually, do try it at home coz you are safe there…
David: So are you nervous? Are you scared? Are you embarrassed about this whole thing? Did they take you downtown now? What did they do?
George: After that, I was taken to the police station, which is probably the nicest jail in the western world, it’s the Beverly Hills police department. And I was thinking, actually when I look back on it was pathetic. I was thinking, I was so lucky that no one else had been arrested this afternoon apart from me, right? You never know that it might one get out. Seven hours later I got helicopters flying around my house, there are hundreds of people in the street…
David: So you are saying you are completely innocent in this particular episode. That it was more or less a misunderstanding?
George: Yes absolutely. And ultimately the point being that I think it is kind of irrelevant in terms of the law what my general behavior is even though I have admitted to a similar sort of behavior. The point is the police are not allowed to do something illegal in order to make you do something illegal. It was definitely entrapment…
David: Well then are you going to go after them…
George: Well no because at the time I did actually consider, this week the DAs office issued a statement which they have done plenty of times in the last 6 months, I don’t really understand why they have to. But the issued a statement saying that if I believed that I was entrapped, and I actually said … The one thing in the police report I know they had to put down was that I stood in the middle of the street surrounded by people saying this is entrapment, I am going to have to say this was entrapment. So that was in there, I said it publically there were enough people watching and listening. But they said that if I believed it was entrapment, having seen an interview I did last week then why didn’t I go to court. Now if someone can really tell me that a sane celebrity involved in a lewd conduct arrest takes their grievance to international cameras and stands in court to say, “Yes you did,” and him going “No I didn’t” and you going “Yes you did”. There is no way I’m gonna put myself through that and there is no way I am going to feed the circus to that degree. I was tried really by the media…
David: I hope this whole episode hasn’t changed your outlook on outdoor nookie, I hope you haven’t soured on that…
George: Well I guess I just have to make sure it is completely outdoor…
David: Now are you going to sing for us…
George: No I am not singing, he is really clued up on me. He doesn’t remember if I’d been on the show before, he doesn’t know whether I am playing or not. I am offended…
David: Are you really?
George: No…
David: I was going to say it takes an awful lot to offend you… Well, I am glad that episode is history for you now you can go on and take care of your life. Well, nice meeting you George…
George: Cheers.
David: Thank you very much. George Michael, ladies, and gentlemen!
